Hurt Feelings Report Form

Hurt Feelings Report Form

The Hurt Feelings Report form is a tongue-in-cheek document designed for individuals wishing to formally express their emotional distress. Intended to assist those who feel slighted, this form allows users to document their experiences and seek sympathy from others. While it carries a humorous tone, it underscores the importance of emotional well-being and the need for support in difficult times.

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The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to assist individuals in documenting their emotional distress in a structured manner. This form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer for it to be valid. It includes sections that require personal data such as the whiner's name, age, and sex, along with details about the incident that caused the hurt feelings. Users must specify the date and time of the incident, the location where hurtful comments were made, and whether anyone showed sympathy during the situation. Additionally, the form prompts users to identify the individual responsible for their feelings and to describe the nature of their emotional injury. Various options are provided to characterize the injury, including whether it resulted in permanent damage or required a tissue for tears. There is also a section where users can mark reasons for filing the report, such as feeling thin-skinned or needing a hug. The narrative portion allows individuals to express their feelings in their own words, even if it seems that no one cares. Finally, the form includes an authentication section for signatures, emphasizing the importance of taking hurt feelings seriously. The department promises support, including the dispatch of a "hugger" or an EMS team if necessary, highlighting a commitment to addressing emotional needs in a light-hearted manner.

Common Questions

What is the purpose of the Hurt Feelings Report form?

The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to help individuals document instances where they feel their feelings have been hurt. It serves as a means for individuals to express their emotions and seek sympathy from those who may be able to provide support. The form encourages individuals to articulate their experiences in a structured manner.

Who should fill out this form?

This form is intended for anyone who feels that their feelings have been hurt in a specific incident. It is meant for individuals who wish to formally document their experiences and seek acknowledgment of their feelings. If you find yourself feeling particularly sensitive or hurt, this form may be suitable for you.

How do I submit the Hurt Feelings Report?

To submit the Hurt Feelings Report, you must physically hand the completed form to a Law Enforcement Officer. This ensures that your report is received and acknowledged appropriately. It is important to follow this submission process to ensure your feelings are taken seriously.

Is the information provided in the form confidential?

What if I do not want to disclose my identity?

Can I receive support after submitting the form?

What types of incidents can be reported using this form?

What happens after I submit the report?

Key takeaways

Here are some key takeaways about filling out and using the Hurt Feelings Report form:

  • Submit in Person: The form must be handed directly to a Law Enforcement Officer.
  • Voluntary Disclosure: Sharing your feelings is voluntary, but excessive complaints may lead to negative labels.
  • Complete All Sections: Fill out every part of the form, including personal details and specifics about the incident.
  • Document Feelings: Clearly state which feelings were hurt and how long you experienced distress.
  • Identify Witnesses: Include anyone who showed sympathy, even if they were paid witnesses.
  • Be Honest: Provide truthful responses, especially regarding the nature of your injury and emotional state.
  • Narrative Section: Use this space to describe your experience in detail, even if it feels trivial.
  • Authentication Required: Sign and print your name to validate the report, acknowledging the seriousness of your feelings.

Form Properties

Fact Name Description
Purpose This form is designed to help individuals document their hurt feelings.
Submission Requirement The form must be physically given to a Law Enforcement Officer to be considered valid.
Privacy Act Compliance The form complies with the Privacy Act of 1974, requiring specific data handling practices.
Voluntary Disclosure Disclosure of information is voluntary, but repeated submissions may result in informal labeling.
Incident Reporting Part II of the form collects details about the incident that caused the hurt feelings.
Emotional Support The department offers emotional support, including the possibility of dispatching a "hugger" if needed.

Misconceptions

Misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form can often lead to confusion and misinterpretation. Here are four common misunderstandings:

  • The form is a serious legal document. Many people believe that the Hurt Feelings Report form carries legal weight similar to other official documents. In reality, it is intended as a lighthearted way to address emotional distress, and it does not have legal implications.
  • Submitting the form guarantees a response. Some individuals think that filling out the form will automatically result in sympathy or action from law enforcement. However, the form is more of a humorous tool than a formal complaint mechanism, and responses may vary.
  • It is only for serious complaints. There is a misconception that this form is reserved for significant emotional distress. In truth, it is designed for any situation where someone feels hurt, regardless of the severity. The intent is to encourage expression rather than minimize feelings.
  • Using the form reflects weakness. Some may fear that filing a Hurt Feelings Report indicates a lack of resilience. On the contrary, expressing feelings is a healthy part of emotional well-being. The form encourages individuals to voice their experiences without judgment.

Understanding these misconceptions can help individuals navigate their feelings and utilize the form in a way that aligns with its intended purpose.

Hurt Feelings Report Preview

HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?

 

LEFT

RIGHT

 

BOTH

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?

 

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

YES

NO

MULTIPLE

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

 

 

PART IV - REASON FOR

FILING THIS REPORT

 

 

 

 

 

(Mark all that apply)

 

 

 

I am thin skinned

 

 

The Dept needs to fix my problems

 

Two beers is not enough

 

 

I am a wimp

 

 

My feelings are easily hurt

 

My hands should be in my pockets

 

I have woman / man-like hormones

 

I didn't sign up for this

 

I was not offered a tissue

 

 

I am a crybaby

 

 

I was told that I am not a hero

 

Someone requested a tissue

 

 

I want my mommy

 

 

The weather is too cold

 

All of the above and more

 

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

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Common mistakes

  1. Incompleteness: Many individuals fail to fill out all required sections of the form. Missing information can delay the processing of the report.

  2. Incorrect Personal Information: Providing wrong names or ages can lead to confusion. Ensure that the whiner’s name and details are accurate.

  3. Vague Incident Descriptions: Some people do not provide enough detail about the incident. Clear descriptions help in understanding the context of the hurt feelings.

  4. Neglecting to List Witnesses: Forgetting to include sympathetic individuals or witnesses can weaken the report. Their support might be crucial for validation.

  5. Inaccurate Time and Date: Failing to accurately record when the hurtful comments occurred can complicate the investigation. Always double-check this information.

  6. Ignoring the Privacy Act: Some users overlook the importance of privacy. Respecting confidentiality is essential when sharing personal feelings.

  7. Failure to Sign: Not signing the report can render it invalid. Ensure that both the whiner and the reporter sign the form before submission.

Dos and Don'ts

When filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form, it’s important to approach the task thoughtfully. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate the process smoothly:

  • Do: Provide accurate personal information, including your name and age.
  • Do: Clearly describe the incident that led to your hurt feelings, including the date and location.
  • Do: Be honest about your feelings and how they were affected by the situation.
  • Do: Include any witnesses who can support your claims, as this may help your case.
  • Don't: Use overly dramatic language that may detract from your report's seriousness.
  • Don't: Leave any sections blank; every part of the form is important for a complete submission.

Following these guidelines will help ensure that your report is taken seriously and processed appropriately. Remember, expressing your feelings is valid, and this form is a tool to help you communicate them effectively.

Similar forms

The Complaint Form is a document used to formally report grievances or issues that individuals face in various contexts, such as workplaces or public services. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, it requires the complainant to provide personal information, including their name and the nature of the complaint. Both forms aim to document experiences that have caused distress, allowing individuals to express their concerns and seek resolution. The Complaint Form often includes sections for detailed accounts of the incident, similar to the narrative section in the Hurt Feelings Report.

The Incident Report serves as a record of events that have led to an issue or conflict. This document is typically used in legal or organizational settings to outline what occurred, when it happened, and who was involved. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, it focuses on the specifics of the incident, requiring details such as dates, times, and locations. Both forms emphasize the importance of providing a clear account of the situation to facilitate understanding and resolution.

In the realm of boat transactions, it is vital for buyers and sellers to have a clear understanding of all necessary documentation to ensure a smooth process. One such essential document is the Vessel Bill of Sale, which documents the details of the sale and protects the interests of both parties involved. This form not only aids in the transfer of ownership but also helps to confirm compliance with state regulations, making it a crucial aspect of boat ownership transactions.

The Grievance Form is commonly used in employment settings to address workplace disputes or dissatisfaction. This document is similar to the Hurt Feelings Report in that it allows individuals to articulate their feelings and the reasons behind their grievances. Both forms often include sections for personal details and descriptions of the issues faced, emphasizing the emotional impact on the individual. The Grievance Form may also outline steps for resolution, paralleling the supportive tone of the Hurt Feelings Report.

The Feedback Form is designed to gather opinions and reactions from individuals regarding a service or experience. It is similar to the Hurt Feelings Report in that it invites individuals to share their feelings about a situation, often in a structured format. Both forms encourage individuals to express themselves, whether in positive or negative contexts, and seek acknowledgment of their experiences. The Feedback Form may focus more on constructive criticism, while the Hurt Feelings Report leans toward documenting emotional responses.

The Incident Statement is a document used to provide a detailed account of a specific event, often for legal or insurance purposes. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, it requires individuals to recount their experiences in a structured manner. Both documents emphasize the importance of clarity and detail in describing the incident, although the Incident Statement typically has a more formal tone. The focus on providing a comprehensive narrative is a shared characteristic between the two forms.

The Emotional Distress Claim Form is used to seek compensation for emotional pain and suffering resulting from specific incidents. This document is similar to the Hurt Feelings Report as it allows individuals to articulate their feelings and the impact of the incident on their emotional well-being. Both forms require personal information and details about the distressing event. While the Emotional Distress Claim Form may have legal implications, the underlying purpose of documenting feelings connects it to the Hurt Feelings Report.